Wedding Speeches in Australia: Order, Length and Where They Fit Around Dinner

What is the usual wedding speech order in Australia?

The most common order is a parent or family member first, then the best man and maid of honour, then the couple. There's no fixed rule, and plenty of couples change it to suit their families.

I see a different order at almost every wedding. Who speaks depends on your family, who's in the bridal party and who actually wants to stand up. The one thing that rarely changes is the couple going last. It's the natural ending, and it leads straight into the next formality.

At one wedding I coordinated, the bridal party went first and the parents followed. That was the parents' own request. They didn't want to follow the best man, and it worked well. Ask your speakers how they feel before you lock it in. Most people have a preference, and a happy speaker gives a better speech.

How long should a wedding speech be?

About 5 minutes for each guest speaker and about 10 minutes for the couple. Five minutes sounds short, but it's plenty when you're the one holding the microphone.

I tell every speaker the same thing: five minutes. Most people underestimate how long that is when they're standing in front of a room. The couple's speech is the exception. You have more people to thank, so allow about 10 minutes.

Don't panic if someone runs a minute or two over. In my experience, some people go over and some go under, and by the end of the night it evens out. What matters is the total, so plan the block as a whole.

Once you have more than four guest speeches, I'd split them across courses. It's not that people stop listening. It's that a 45-minute block pushes mains, the cake and the first dance back by the same amount. For the wider reception order, see the sample wedding day timeline.

When should wedding speeches happen during dinner?

After guests have had 10 to 20 minutes with their entree, and again after mains are cleared. Never while plates are being served or taken away.

This comes up in every planning meeting I have. Venues clear plates on their own timing, and a speech that lands in the middle of that is hard to hear. It's also hard to photograph. Nobody wants a photo of their dad's speech with guests in the background, mouths open and forks in the air.

Here's the flow I suggest to most couples. The entree goes out straight after the entrances. Guests eat for 10 to 20 minutes. Then a couple of speeches. The venue clears, serves mains, and once mains are cleared, the rest of the speeches. The couple speaks last and goes straight into the cake cutting, because you're already standing up. Then the DJ plays something upbeat and the dance floor fills.

What if the venue has a gap after mains?

Some venue timelines leave a long, empty stretch after mains while the kitchen gets dessert ready. I've seen one with a 55-minute gap. People get bored, and they start drifting to the bar or the bathroom. I'd rather move the second block of speeches into that space and bring the cake forward, so the gap is closer to 30 minutes.

What should you tell the venue or caterer about the speeches?

Tell them how many speeches there are, roughly how long each block takes and where it sits. Then ask them to check the timings against their kitchen and clearing times.

I always run my proposed speech times past the venue before the run sheet is final. More than once the answer has been, "You haven't scheduled enough time for us to clear plates." That's useful to hear in a planning meeting, not on the night.

• How many speeches, in which blocks, and the total length of each block
• How long they need to serve and clear each course for your guest numbers
• Whether they allow speeches between courses
• Whether the venue supplies a microphone, and whether it's cordless
• Where the speaker will stand, so lighting and the photographer's angle work
• When they'd like to feed your suppliers

That last one matters more than people think. I ask the venue to serve vendor meals in a quiet window, usually while mains are being eaten and there are no speeches. That way the photographer never misses a speech because their dinner arrived at the wrong moment.

How do the MC, DJ, photographer and coordinator handle the speeches?

The coordinator checks everything is ready and signals the MC, the MC introduces each speaker, the DJ handles the microphone and music, and the photographer is in position before anyone stands up.

Speakers usually walk up without music. A walk-up song can feel like a long wait while someone weaves between tables. I only add one when there's a reason, like a quick birthday sting for a speaker who is celebrating that day. For more on how the MC script works, see the wedding MC guide.

On the night, I'm watching the kitchen door as much as the speaker. If mains are running 10 minutes late, I tell the MC before they call the next speech. If someone is going long, I let it run. Cutting a speaker off is worse than five extra minutes.

What tips help nervous wedding speakers?

Practise out loud with a timer, bring notes in a large font, hold the microphone close and finish with a toast so the room knows when you're done.

• Time it out loud. Read the speech aloud at a slow pace. If it's over 5 minutes, cut a story, not the thank-yous.
• Use notes. Print them in a large font or use cue cards. Phones go dark and get notifications.
• Hold the microphone close. About a fist away from your mouth. Most "can't hear" problems are a microphone held at chest height.
• Face the room, not the couple. The couple can hear you either way. The back tables can't.
• Go easy on the drinks. One to settle the nerves is plenty until after your speech.
• End with a toast. "Please raise your glasses to..." tells everyone you've finished and gives the MC a clean handover.

What are the most common wedding speech mistakes?

Speaking while plates are moving, too many speeches in one block, no microphone check and leaving a long empty gap after mains.

• Speeches during service or clearing. Hard to hear and bad for photos. Wait for plates to settle.
• One long block. More than about 30 minutes in one go pushes the whole night back.
• Starting before anyone has eaten. Hungry guests don't listen well. Give the entree 10 to 20 minutes first.
• No microphone check. Test it at the reception, at the spot where speakers will stand, before guests arrive.
• A dead gap after mains. Fill it with speeches or the cake instead of waiting for dessert.
• Losing momentum after the couple's speech. Go straight into the cake, then the first dance or an upbeat song.
• Not telling the venue the plan. If the kitchen doesn't know, they'll serve on their own timing.

Frequently asked questions

How we researched this

Written by Sara Ward from coordinating receptions across Sydney and regional NSW, and from the planning meetings she has with couples, where speech timing comes up at nearly every wedding. Couples, guests, suppliers and venues are not named. The timings and reception flow are examples; each run sheet is checked with the couple's own venue and caterer.